How to Choose and Appoint a Guardian for Your Child in England and Wales

Choosing a guardian can feel like an enormous decision. You do not need to find someone who would parent in exactly the same way as you. Focus on who could give your child a safe, stable and caring home, then make sure your choice is properly recorded.

This guide takes you through that process one step at a time. It focuses on a guardian appointed to act after you die.

Step 1: Start with what your child needs

Before thinking of names, write down what matters most for your child’s care. This might include:

• their age, personality and relationship with the people around them;
• their home, school, friends and wider family connections;
• any health, disability or additional support needs;
• the languages they speak and their cultural or religious upbringing; and
• anything that helps them feel safe and settled.

Your child’s needs will change as they grow. If they are old enough to express a view, listen to what they say and take it into account in a way that is appropriate for their age and understanding.

Step 2: Make a practical shortlist

Start with people your child already knows and trusts. They might be relatives or close friends; being the nearest relative does not automatically make someone the best choice.

Try to identify more than one suitable person. Your first choice may later become unable or unwilling to act, so having another option now can prevent uncertainty later.

At this stage, keep the list open. You are deciding who is worth speaking to, not making the final appointment yet.

Step 3: Think through everyday life

Picture what life would realistically look like if each person on your shortlist became your child’s guardian. Consider:

• the strength of their existing relationship with your child;
• their health, energy and ability to provide long-term care;
• their partner, children, home and other caring responsibilities;
• whether your child could remain near their school, friends and relatives;
• whether your child would need to move to another country;
• how closely their values and approach to parenting fit your priorities; and
• whether they could support your child’s health, education, language, culture and religion.

Money matters, but the guardian does not need to be wealthy. Think about the financial support you are leaving for your child and whether the guardian could work constructively with the executors or trustees who manage it. A guardian does not automatically control the assets your child inherits. Our guide to executors and trustees in England and Wales explains the difference.

Step 4: Talk to your potential guardian

Speak to each serious candidate before putting their name in your Will or another appointment document. Explain what you are asking and give them time to think about it. A genuine conversation is more useful than asking for an immediate yes.

You may want to discuss:

• where your child would live and whether they could stay at the same school;
• how the arrangement would affect the guardian’s partner and household;
• your child’s routines, health and emotional needs;
• contact with grandparents and other important people;
• how the guardian would communicate with the executors or trustees; and
• any immigration or travel issues if the guardian lives abroad.

Make it clear that they can say no. An appointment only works well when the person understands the responsibility and is willing to take it on.

Step 5: Choose a primary and backup guardian

Once you have spoken to the people involved, name a first-choice guardian and at least one substitute who could act if your first choice dies, declines or cannot take on the role.

You can appoint more than one guardian. Joint guardians can provide shared support, but they may also need to make important decisions together. Consider whether they communicate well, live close enough to cooperate and agree on the broad approach to your child’s care.

Where possible, coordinate your choice with your child’s other parent. If parents appoint different people, the appointments may take effect at different times and could eventually give more than one person parental responsibility. Your appointment should also make clear whether people are intended to act jointly or whether one is a substitute for another.

Step 6: Appoint the guardian in writing

Under section 5 of the Children Act 1989, a parent with parental responsibility can appoint someone to act as their child’s guardian after their death. An existing guardian or special guardian can also make an appointment in certain circumstances. The appointment must be made in writing, dated and signed, and it can be included in your Will.

If you appoint a guardian in your Will, it is important to follow the signing and witnessing requirements carefully so that your Will is valid. You can read our guide to how the Will witnessing process works in England and Wales.

Appointing a guardian does not necessarily mean that they will take over from a surviving parent immediately after your death. Generally, the appointment takes effect on your death if your child has no surviving parent with parental responsibility. It may also take effect immediately in certain circumstances where a child arrangements order was in force stating that your child was to live with you. Otherwise, the appointment will generally only take effect once there is no surviving parent with parental responsibility. You can read more about who has parental responsibility on GOV.UK.

If your wishes are straightforward, NobleWills’ online Will serviceallows you to appoint guardians for your minor children as part of preparing your Will.

Step 7: Leave useful guidance outside your Will

A separate letter of wishes can help the guardian understand your child’s routines, healthcare, education, important relationships, culture and values. It is easier to update than your Will as your child grows.

Keep the letter practical and avoid trying to control every future decision. It is guidance rather than a legally binding set of parenting instructions, and the guardian must still respond to your child’s circumstances and welfare at the time.

You can also explain how the guardian should contact the executors or trustees when money is needed for your child’s care. Keeping the care and financial roles clear can prevent misunderstandings.

Step 8: Store your Will and review your choice

Store the original Will securely and make sure your executors know where to find it. Tell the proposed guardian that the appointment exists, although you do not need to share the rest of your Will if you prefer to keep it private.

Review your choice regularly and whenever something important changes, such as:

• the birth or adoption of another child;
• separation, divorce or a new child arrangements order;
• you, your child or the guardian moving country;
• a change in the guardian’s health, relationship or household;
• the guardian becoming unwilling or unable to act; or
• your child developing new health, education or support needs.

If you change your appointment, update the legal document clearly rather than relying on a conversation or an informal note.

When should I get professional help?

Get advice about your particular circumstances if your family involves separation, a dispute about parental responsibility or child arrangements, adoption, surrogacy, assisted reproduction, a child with significant support needs, competing guardian choices or more than one country.

If you would like help organising your choices before preparing a Will, a NobleWills estate planning session can help you work through guardians, executors and distributions.